Monday, February 2, 2009

REVENGE 101

When I got together yesterday with a group of dear friends, whom I had not seen for more than eight months, one of them asked about a guy who was in my life last spring. That particular connection ended on a very bad note as I was treated meanly. And I told my friend exactly how I felt about that guy: I was still very mad and even to the point of wanting revenge!

Well, that is of course not very New Age, actually "not done". I should have forgiven this guy long ago and moved on in my pink world of happiness and success ...

Except I did not feel that way ...

My friend however, reacted very interested: "Cool. What do you plan on doing?", he said. And then proceeded to fantasize about how fun it would be to be creative with craigslist and ...
"Oh, yes," another friend jumped in and came up with some other "torture plan". Before I knew we were all roaring with laughter and coming up with one revenge plan after another. We all got a bit carried away and I was contemplating the idea of bribing a schoolboy into setting up an ambush with a water pistol ...

I think forgiveness can not be forced, it has its own timing. I am not even sure it is necessary to forgive.
Given the enthusiastic reaction of my friends on just the word "revenge", I suspect that I am not alone in sometimes having these feelings. I think it triggered something inside that we may all have.
Instead of forcefully trying to forgive as is preached in the New Age church, I found that sharing my "forbidden" feelings with my friends turned into a very liberating experience, for which I feel very grateful towards them:
instead of feeling anger when thinking about this "mean" guy, I can't stop laughing now ... :-)

4 comments:

Gattina said...

Why should you forgive ? with the time there will be no feelings anymore and years later you laugh about it. Because "forget" you will never !

Joni said...

Nice to see you on here again. I was starting to worry that something happened to you!
I agree with forgiveness taking time. And, laughter can definitely be the perfect medicine taken with friends.

Boise Diva said...

A very creative and fun kind of revenge. You really do have to keep that guy on your shelf of experience, so you know well to avoid his clones that are roaming the world.

Lynda Lehmann said...

Anne, that's great that by sharing your feelings, you have turned your anger into humor! You did nothing wrong--you didn't act on the fantasies, but venting helped you!

Send that guy over here and I'll ambush him with more than a water pistol!